When the Doctor seeks 'The' Doctor Pt1

Posted on Mon Aug 11th, 2025 @ 12:35am by Commodore Finchley Kerr & Captain Kevin, Lord Kilbane of Sanquhar & Lieutenant Commander Shr'Nesh Karadis & Commander Milani & Lieutenant Commander Dex

Mission: Delivering on the undeliverable.
Location: USS Thall
Timeline: Current.

In their quarters, Finchley was still a little on edge about how to explain to SFIHQ the mission he wanted him and his crew to undertake.

"I mean, what do I say to them?" Finchley asked Shon, "and even if they grasp the truth that my life is forfeit unless we find this Romulan doctor, will they sanction us trying to find her? Won't they just see that the loss of one officer is better than losing a ship or some of it's crew? What if we're captured, I then have that on my conscience and I may be forced to watch them torture you?"

He was building himself up into a complete tiz now, but his feelings and questions were all from the heart, he didn't want anyone else to get hurt because of what happened to him.

Shon attempted to reassure him. "Finchley you set yourself the poorer if you think that SFIHQ do not see you as the figurehead and leader of this ship and the great team you lead. How many missions has this ship undertaken with you at the helm and succeeded due to your skills and sheer doggedness. As for the crew they may be grizzly old salts but they love you and follow you anywhere. They are here because they believe in you and would follow you into the jaws of hell.

" Shon sighed, "and there is me, you have saved my life several times, you know how much I love you I will always use my skills for the good of the ship and crew...and for you Finchley, you are my Captain, my hero, and my love. Please let me, let all of us help you now. We all chose this life and we all understand that death might come to any or all of us on these missions."

Finchley had never considered the fact that his crew 'loved' him. Respected him...possibly...feared him...perhaps at times as he had a temper...but loved him...it had never even entered his head that they did. If he were honest with himself, he in fact loved his crew and there was nothing he wouldn't do for any of them, from the youngest crewman up to the craggy and grumpy old Karadis.

"I fully appreciate you saying that Shon, I honestly do, and you're my love as well" Finchley replied, walking over to her and holding her close. He suddenly realised that he hadn't actually taken into account that she wasn't fully recovered from her injuries yet. "I'm sorry love, I've made this all about me and what's happened to me, I've not taken care of you. Here, sit back down and rest, I'll get us some food and something to drink and we can then decide when we want to call a mission briefing."

Shon smiled, I would like that very much Finchley and after the briefing I will get in touch with my Romulan friend and begin turning us into Romulans. How we get there might be a problem, I'm sure the Romulans would look a little askance at a SFIHQ ship wandering into their space. the space around Romulus is very crowded and the security......" she thought a minute......"maybe we could meet her somewhere else, somewhere away from Romulus. I know she has a summer house on the moon of Kitara." Shon appeared to be deep in thought. "Yes, I am sure we could do that."

She stopped as Finchley brought her coffee rolls and her favourite blueberry jam. "I will not eat or drink unless you do my love."

Finchley picked up one of the coffee rolls and tore off a small piece and put it in his mouth, "There we are, I'm eating" he smiled. He thought about what Shon had said and it sounded like the ideal plan to help them start the mission off. "Just how well do you know this Romulan friend of yours?"

Shon buttered a roll smothered it with jam and put it on his plate...."Eat" she ordered. "I wouldn't say she is a friend exactly. My first mission with SFIQ after I left you and after my training was a spy mission to the Romulan base on Denar. They had an embassy there and my role was one of a junior physician assigned to the Attaché. She was the same but, obviously to the Romulan side. Long story short I was at dinner with her one night and her brute of an estranged husband arrived. He was an under centurion in the Tal Shiar, full of his own importance.

I was in the bathroom at the time and I heard the commotion and hid. They had been estranged for many years but she had a family with money and power and her family liked him. They had stupidly promised him that, when she died he would inherit everything from her. the stupid bastard had chosen the moment to help her 'pass on'. I came downstairs and he immediately thought we were having an affair. He was big but stupid. I knew if I let him live my whole mission would be in jeopardy. So, I killed him, he was, after all attempting to kill her. I disposed of the body and I could see the fear leave her. We spent the night together and, for the next few weeks we got to know each other. I suppose you could say we fell in love. of course it didn't last as my love for you was always there.

She has several children who would have been without a mother so she was doubly glad. Since then she has been promoted several times and now works closely with most of the Senate. We keep in touch irregularly." Shon felt a wave of tiredness flow over her and she swayed. "I need to lie down for a while Finchley I'm sorry."

"Hey that's fine with me" Finchley replied, "I'll help you through to the bedroom and then you can have a sleep. I need to do some research anyway, I can do that whilst you sleep."

He helped Shon through and onto the bed, once she was comfortable he left her alone and went back to the living area and over to his computer. He entered his command codes and pulled up the files on known Romulan agents and began looking through them. He found the one's he was looking for, Larimus and Ejat, the two Romulans who now lay dead in Sickbay, but there was something missing from their files, the name of their handler. It was odd that this information was missing, and it concerned him...had the name been removed, if so, by who?"

Shon could not sleep although she found their bed very comfortable. Something apart from the next mission was niggling her, something she knew but just could not recall. She moved out of bed and a wave of nausea swept through her. She placed her P'aTac rug on the floor and laid her Vulcan lamp out in front of her. Placing the room in darkness she lit the lamp strewing herbs about the flame until the faint smell of moccara filled the room. She began to clear her mind ready to recall memory and slipped into the past.

Finchley sat back in his seat and pondered how he could find out why the handlers name wasn't on the file. He was a level nine SFI operative and the only level above him was the Admiralty. A sudden call from the bridge made him start and he opened the channel, "Kerr here."

"Sir, it's Lieutenant Kelly, I Admiral Calley in on subspace, he wants to speak to you" the Communications Lieutenant said.

"Patch it through here to my quarters Lieutenant Kelly, thank you, Kerr out" Finchley replied.

"Aye Sir, putting them through now" Kelly replied.

Finchley's screen altered a little and Admiral Calley's face appeared, "Bird, good to see you, you're looking hellish though, don't they feed you on that ship?"

Finchley smiled at the greeting, "Thank you Admiral, and yes, they do feed me. How can I help you Sir?"

"Oh, you're going to love this Bird, it's about Karadis" Calley went on.

Finchley put his hands over his face and mumbled, "What's she done now...Sir?"

"Oh no, she's not done anything wrong, I'm sending you a file though, read it and relay it to her will you, there's a good lad" Calley replied.

"Can't you just tell me Admiral, I mean, it would save us some time" Finchley replied, already on edge about what it could be.

"And have you miss out on telling her?" Calley laughed, "you know that's not how this works. Oh, what I will say is this, when you tell her, make sure you're wearing some protective padding, or there's at least a good twenty meters between you. Well, I got to go, got some seat shining to do in a meeting about...oh it doesn't matter, just make sure Karadis gets told, Calley out."

Finchley watched as the screen went blank but then the message with the file for Karadis appeared. Hesitantly, Finchley opened it and began reading, and as he went through the message a large knot began forming in his stomach. Reaching the end of it, his head was now lying sideways on the desk, he said, "Great...just great...and I'm the one they've chosen to have give her the news."

He rose and went to the bedroom and opened the door, but the room was in darkness, and he saw Shon on the floor meditating. Slowly he turned round and retraced his steps back out and walked over to the sofa and flopped down on it.

Some time later Shon opened her eyes. The trance had centred her, she felt less emotional. less provoked by the situation. However what she had wanted to remember had eluded her. With a sigh she blew out the lamp, rose and exited the bedroom finding Finchley sitting on the sofa. She ruffled his hair, "sorry I decided to meditate, it helps healing and there was something I needed to recall but was not able. Any more thoughts about the mission?"

"No, but I did have a message from Admiral Calley regarding Karadis" Finchley replied, "Tell me, do you happen to bring any protective gear with you when you moved in?" he asked.

"Oh no, that sounds dangerous, can you tell me what we have to face?"

Finchley sighed, "They're promoting her and they want me to tell her. Now, you know what she's like, she doesn't take news like that very well, and she's not exactly shy about letting you know she's unhappy about it."

Shon laughed, "I don't see why she wouldn't want a promotion unless it takes her away from the Thall?" she asked questioningly. "Maybe Milani can tell her?"

"Karadis doesn't want the extra responsibility, or 'paperwork', that goes along with it" Finchley replied, "She's already turned down three promotions, got herself demoted twice...intentionally...and she told me quite succinctly the last time I had to promote her that if it happened again she would break me in two! No, Calley was quite clear that he wanted me to do it."

"Of course he did, pass it on to someone else, he's good at that. did i tell you the time when he!.....no maybe not. So, it's the last thing we need right now. could you wait until this...thing is sorted out? actually I would like you in sickbay so I can perform some further scans on that...thing inside you?"

"He wants it done ASAP, I'll do it after the mission briefing...from a distance, like over COMM's when I'm on a shuttle craft many light years away where she can't punch me" Finchley replied. "I have no objections to you doing further scans on this digestion inhibitor I have in me, but you can't shut it down Shon, you need the override code."

"I understand Finchley but I need to know as much as i can about it. you know me I'm like a Sehlat with a bone, I cannot let it go. Listen why don't we go to bed and talk more. One more night safe in your arms, or maybe you in mine?" she laughed throatily, or, you could just make love to me....that's if you still find me attractive?"

He stood up and took her in his arms and embraced her, "Of course I still find you attractive Shon, I've always found you, and always will, find you absolutely stunning. If you want to go to bed, that's fine with me, I'd love nothing more, but all I ask is that you're gentle with me, I heard stories about how over zealous you Betaziod women can be."

"You make it sound as though we have never been to bed together before,." she stood and took off her uniform and unpicked her hair until it cascaded down in a thick black sheen. She took his hand and pulled him to her, "Now strip" she said laughing. "I want to watch."

Finchley stood right in front of Shon, "I have to warn you, I've been practicing my dance of the seven veils" he said, trying to hide a smile as he began dancing around her, removing his clothes and swirling them above his head before tossing them away. Finally he was down to his shorts, and with a flourish, he removed them in one movement, brandished them above his head and threw them away, "Taaaa daaaa!" he grinned.

"you've definitely lost weight, I like it," she said smiling a lust filled smile. "you know I would love a four poster bed with curtains and silken sheets. Can we have that on day?" she asked full of desire.

Finchley took Shon in his arms, "You my love, can have anything you want that's in my power to give you" Finchley replied, "if you want a four poster bed, you'll have a four poster bed. Out of curiosity, is there a particular reason why?"

"I think I am an old soul really. I love the thought of corsets, long boots, crisp white shirts and riding crops. I also love those huge skirts, crinolines I think they are called. Anyway I digress." Shon walked to the bed and held the sheets open for him the lustful look still in her eyes.

"That sounds utterly delightful, I'd love to see you dressed like that...it's kind of Poldark like" Finchley replied, moving over to the bed and sliding in. He waited till Shon was in beside him and cuddled into her, feeling her soft skin against his. He let his hand fall onto her hip and he traced it down her leg and back up to her hip, carrying on up her side and onto her neck.

"So, though you're not fully recovered yet, just how physical are we going to get?" he smiled flicking his eyebrows up and down.

"I will say if it gets too much," her hand stroked his skin and then drifted down to his lower abdomen and then further grasping him as she gasped. "I see you are glad to see me!" her eyebrow arched. "MMM," she said as she began to move.

"I've wanted to have this every time we're alone together" Finchley replied, moving his hips in time to Shon's movements. His hand moved from her neck to around her chest and down onto her breasts, gently moving it back and forth, feeling her nipples harden. Slowly he began circling them, bring them up to their fullest and he moved his head forward and began licking and sucking them.

Shon threw her head back and moaned, "you're all I have ever wanted." she said as her hand manipulated him to full attention. suddenly she disappeared under the covers taking him into her mouth and running her tongue around him.

Finchley himself moaned as Shon pleasured him with her mouth. His wild desires surfaced but he pushed them down because he needed to be gentle with her. After a few moments he guided Shon back up to him and he lay her on her back, and looked deep into her eyes, "I never ever thought I'd meet my soul mate Shon, but now I know I have, you're everything I could ever hope for in someone I truly love."

He moved himself over and between her legs. Reaching forward, he kissed her deeply and passionately and as he did so, he pushed inside her and began making love to her.

She clasped her legs around him driving him deeper as she felt him move. "harder" she said her head thrown back.

Finchley moved himself up the bed as Shon wrapped her legs around him, causing him to drive deeper into her. He changed his rhythm and began moving his hips faster and faster, his gasps of passion coming in short bursts. He reached up with one hand and began massaging her breast and playing with her nipple, flicking it back and forth then pulling hard and stretching it.

Shon screamed a little in pain which added to the passion she felt and she squeezed him hard. She reached her hand round his back and drew her fingernail down scratching him as she gasped and writhed under him.

Her touch drove him wild and Finchley began speeding up even more, he could begin to feel his climax coming and he so wanted them to both climax together. He moved his hand from her breast to her behind and began to feel in between her cheeks.

"Yes, YES" she moaned biting his ear. Her hands moved to his buttocks scratching and pulling as she went. Her passion was now completely out of control. Shon wanted to tie him up and do so many things to him that would drive him wild.

As Shon drove him on, Finchley suddenly arched his back as his seed erupted into her, "Shon!, oh Shon...I LOVE YOU!!" he called out.

Shon screamed as he came wanting it all inside her, she squeezed him not wanting him to leave her but stay inside her. "I love you Finchley" she cried as she came fast and hard arching her back.

They both flopped down onto the bed and lay panting. He turned in towards her and held her close, turning her face towards his and kissing her gently on the lips, "I hope we weren't to vigorous?" he smiled.

No, I am tired however but to be so close to you, be part of you. It is all I have ever wanted." she held him so close there there was no space between them. You are my soulmate Finchley and I love you more than anything." Shon turned serious. "You know we can, will get through this together, you are not alone....really not al...." Shon's breathing slowed as she drifted into sleep her head on his chest.

Finchley lay back and listened to Shon's steady breathing. It was bliss lying there with the woman he loved, but he knew in his heart that their relationship was going to be tested with what lay ahead. He also thought about the Senior staff and how the up coming mission would test their resolve and loyalty. Not only to him, but to each other and to Starfleet. They were all going into the lions den, and he didn't know if they would be coming back out again, and if they did, would they be changed?

He managed to slide himself out of bed, making sure he didn't disturb Shon's sleep. He looked at her lovingly, so peaceful and at rest, he wanted to remain in that moment forever, but he knew it was only fleeting, he needed to prepare himself.

Hours passed and Shon slept deeply, she woke before the alarm, stretched out her arm for Finchley and met just sheet. Opening her eyes she saw he wasn't there and immediately began to worry. Throwing back the covers she padded out to their living area to see him on the couch his head in his hands. Her heart went out to him but she knew that was not what he needed. He needed someone strong, someone willing to do anything to protect him and the team, a doctor, a wife and a Lieutenant Commander. She walked over to the replicator, "good morning, thank you for last night, Vulcan spiced tea, hot with a slice of orange, Finchley?" she asked.

Finchley looked up, saying, "Wha..oh, I'm sorry Shon, I was miles away, can I have a Raspberry tea please."

He lay back on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. "I think I'll call the mission brief for an hour from now, will that give you enough time to contact your friend and then have the briefing ready for the crew?"

"Raspberry tea" she asked the replicator, removed it and took it over to him with her own. She passed it to him then sat and sipped her own. "I think I can get it done but I hope she is not in the Senate. What are we going to do with our two friends in sickbay?"

"I've given that some thought" Finchley said, "Nobody knows they're there, so we can get rid of them...if you have no objections?"

"She sipped her tea, "No it shouldn't be a problem, I can do that later, it's best that we dispose of them, one less problem. "What are you going to tell them?"

"The crew?" Finchley asked, "Well, that's another thing I've been giving some thought to. At the end of the last mission, those were Romulans who entered the shack we were in, soooooo, I'm going to use that as part of the story. I'll tell them I recognised them as Romulans from hearing them speak as the entered the shack, and speaking a little Romulan myself, I'll want to know why they said they wanted the artefact we were returning to the portal. They had had facial reconstruction to look like humans, and the only people who are Romulan and do that are the Tal Shiar. That will lead us to the point where I say I want us to try and find out why the Tal Shiar wanted to send some of their operatives back in time to get the artefact, and find the doctor responsible for altering them, in reality it'll be us looking for the same Romulan doctor who put this digestion inhibitor inside of me. You'll then be able to explain that 'you' can alter our appearance to look like Romulans to help us carry out the mission."

"Okay that seems good i think it's a good plan Finchley but I just hate not telling them the truth...I know we cannot do so but, we need to be aware if any of this gets out to them it will change the dynamics of friendship and may break us all up. But I know you know that and nothing can be done about it." Shon was silent for a moment and drank her tea.

"Yes, I don't like it either, and truth be told, I'd rather just blurt it all out to them and let the chips fall where they may" Finchley replied. "If they chose to leave the ship, so be it, I would understand, if they want to knock ten bells out of me I wouldn't stop them I'd rather they got their frustrations out and told me exactly what they thought of me. Some part of me think, a very small part of me thinks they'll understand but still want to throw me out the nearest airlock...that's after they've knocked ten bells out of me."

Shon laughed, "that is a lot of different outcomes. I tend to believe that they will understand, and no way are they knocking ten bells out of you, over my dead body. Mil will understand straight away I just know." she sighed. "It's a shame, I was hoping for some time to ourselves, maybe shore leave after all we saved the timelines and rescued a planet and it's peoples. Maybe after this," she stood and put her arms around his chest, "and we will get through this," we can all have some leave." She stood and put her cup back in the replicator. "Well is there anything else?"

"Shore leave, yes, that would be lovely" Finchley replied, "Oh yes, there is something, I spoke to McCrudden in Engineering, he's going to replicate all the pieces for a four poster bed, have them transported here and build it in the bedroom."

"Oh you remembered Finchley, how lovely, " Shon laughed fiendishly, then I can tie you up and have my wicked way with you. Thank you my darling." she bent over and kissed him. "now a quick shower, contact Par Lat, nip to sickbay to dispose of the two bodies and on to the meeting."

Finchley laughed, it all sounded so simple, and in a way it was, but then he had a thought, "Actually Shon, leave the bodies where they are, don't dispose of them. I've decided to tell them everything, the crew, I can't stand the thought of lying to them, it would eat away at me and that's not good. Are you having a water shower or sonic shower?"

She nodded, you know I think telling them the truth from the get go is the right thing to do. You know I am old fashioned four poster bed, water shower, why are you joining me?"

"Well, it would speed things up a bit" Finchley smiled.

Shon took his hand and slowly led him to the bathroom!

Having removed their clothes and turned the shower on, Finchley and Shon both stepped inside the large rain head shower. The water cascaded over them both, and Finchley sighed as the warm water covered them, it felt wonderful. Taking some soap from the dispenser, he turned Shon around and began lathering her back and her arms. He loved the feel of her smooth skin and toned muscles under his hands and as he lathered her up more they moved down to her firm buttocks.

Shon relaxed enjoying the closeness and the feeling of his hands on her body, feeling the touch of his finger between her buttocks she moaned wanting no more than to spread her legs for him. "your turn, turn round. "she soaped his back and neck and her own fingers moved down to the crevice between his buttocks soaping in between them.

The ecstatic feeling he had as Shon moved her fingers was almost more than he could stand, he turned around and kissed Shon deeply, their tongues dancing around each other. He was now very erect again and he moved forward into her, slowly making love to her. He took hold of her arms and pinned them around the back of her, holding them there in one of his as his other reached down and began rubbing Shon between her legs.

Shon came immediately and her legs buckled. the feeling of having her arms pinned was very arousing, she struggled to free them but he held her fast. Her breathing became short as she orgasmed once again.

Finchley, in turn, feeling Shon orgasm and hearing her pant, orgasmed as well. Letting go of her hands, he held her close and kissed her again, and then standing back he began soaping her over and washing her. Finally, with them both clean they stepped out the shower and dried off. Replicating two new uniforms for them, he dressed and waited for her to be ready.

Shon dressed, put her hair up so it looked tidy, attached her comm and put on her doctor's coat. "Finchley do you want me to make my call or after the meeting?"

"No, I think it's best to make it before, that way everything's in place for when we do have the meeting" Finchley replied. He had massive butterflies in his stomach, still unsure of how the rest of the Senior staff were going to take what he had to tell them. Still, if push came to shove, and things went sideways, Shon still had a mission that they needed to do, but he hoped that the others would at least give him a chance to prove himself.

Shon sensitive to him noted his uneasiness. "do you want me to give you a sedative before I make my call?"

"No, I think I need to have all my wits about me" Finchley replied, "but thank you for asking. I'm going to head down to the briefing room, once you're done, come and join me then we'll call the rest of the staff in."

Shon nodded and kissed him lightly on his cheek. He smiled at her and left. Going to the screen she pressed her own number into the console. Accessing communication she tapped in some numbers. "Computer access the Romulan security net using delta alpha one twelve priority input for the office of Pel Tar.

'Acessing' the computer replied. Shon sat back until the face of a petite Romulan woman appeared smiling when she saw Shon. "Pel, good to see you again are we on a private channel?"

Pel smiled, "even the Tal Shiar could not hear us. What can I do for you Shon, I'm busy the Senate is in session. I presume this is not a casual call and, i am sure you are about to call in that favour?"

Shon nodded looking serious, "Pel my team and I need to gain access to Romulus, we will be disguised as Romulans. we are not there to be subversive it's a ...personal...matter but we need access to everything including a shuttle."

Pel developed a frown. "That's some big ask Shon, but, I believe you. I will expect you at my summer place on Sahron. Use the security code 2254779021 Alpha if you are asked for it. Now, I have to go, Romdana d'hr Shon."

Shon nodded Romdan d'hr Pel." and cut the communication checking the call had not been registered on the Romulan security net, stood, smoothed her hair and left their quarters for the briefing room. Entering she nodded at Finchley and sat down.

"How did the call go, was your friend helpful?" Finchley asked.

"Exactly as planned, I told her we would be disguised, so we need to go to her summer home on Sahron, she will lend us a shuttle. I trust her completely, she could have had me arrested several times but she helped me escape."

"That's good news, I'm glad, and thank you for doing that Shon, it means a lot to me" Finchley said, reaching over and taking her hand. "Well, it's time to face the music and get the others in here."

Tapping his COMM badge he said, "Kerr to all Senior Staff, make your way to the briefing room now please, we have out next mission."

A few minutes later, the doors opened and Kilbane and Finnigan walked in together, "...and I'm telling you, there's no way you could ever best me at chess, you don't have the brains for it" Kilbane said to Finnigan. "Oh ye of little faith, I could do it blindfolded!" and they both took a seat.

Karadis was next in, not looking all that happy, "This had better be quick, I was having a nap and you woke me!" and she down at the other end of the table, much to Finchley's delight.

Milani was the last in looking well, rested and refreshed. She had braided her shining blonde hair into hundreds of tiny plaits and then transformed them into bigger plaits. She looked stunningly beautiful. She sat down next to Finchley. "I'm sorry Commodore, I was unavoidably detained."

"Well, we're all here, we can start the briefing in a moment, but first I have something I need to do" Finchley said, "Lieutenant Karadis, this involves you, can you please stand up" he added, looking at the Klingon rather sternly.

Karadis looked at Finchley and replied, "What's this all about Bird?"

"I said stand up Lieutenant!" Finchley repeated, his voice very firm.

Karadis slowly got to her feet, her hands on her hips, "What's this about?" she asked again.

"I've just been on the blower with Admiral Calley, and he ordered me to do something to you" Finchley said.

"Calley...pah!, that old blow hard, he's till sore that I took his Admirals yacht for a joy ride, does he want you to give me a slap on the wrist?" Karadis answered.

"It's not the yacht, but I did hear he was majorly pissed that you did that, it's something else you did" Finchley replied, "he wants me to...he wants me to..."

"Come on you moron, spit it out!" Karadis said, now beginning to sound annoyed.

"He wants me to promote you to Lieutenant Commander!" Finchley answered, now standing and moving behind his chair.

"No!" Karadis yelled, "no, no, no, no, no!!!!!!, I specifically told you Bird that I didn't want anymore promotions, I'm happy where I am!" she added, beginning to move around the table towards Finchley.

Finchley moved away from his chair, circling round the other side of the table that Karadis was coming at him from.

"You slime ball, you guttersnipe, you...you...you...HUMAN!" Karadis yelled, now moving faster around the table.

"I didn't have any choice Karadis, he ORDERED me to!" Finchley answered, now beginning to jog away from Karadis, further around the table. As he went, he gasped in short breaths, "Lieutenant Shr'Nesh Karadis...you're...hereby...promoted to...the rank of...Lieutenant Commander...with all the...rights and...privilege's that...go with it....congratulations...Commander!" he finally managed to get out.

Karadis stopped chasing him and pointed an accusing finger towards Finchley, "You're going to pay for this KERR, mark my words!"

"Ha ha, you got promoted" Kilbane laughed.

Karadis looked at him with wild eyes, "Don't think just because you're a Captain, I won't hurt you Kilbane, so shut it!"

Finchley now stood at the far end of the table, still hiding behind a chair, "Can we get on with the briefing now?" he asked.

Milani finally had had enough, she stood, "STAND DOWN Lieutenant Commander, I am tired of all this acting like a child whose had their rattle stolen! Please Karadis, please?" she sat back down. Shon nodded at her. "We need to hear about our new mission."

Karadis turned on Milani and was about to give a scathing reply when she stopped herself, no, this would be dealt with later, when they were both alone. Instead, she just smiled and said, "Of course Commander, my apologies that you think I'm being childish, however, you don't know the background to any of this, if you did, you wouldn't be so quick to judge me and my reaction. I will be glad to explain it to you another time though, so you understand why" and she sat down.

Milani looked at Karadis. "Later then Commander." she said.

Finchley moved around the table to Shon and sat in his seat. Behind the back of his hand he said to her quietly, "I don't know that I can do this Shon..."

Shon actually smiled. "Yes you can Commodore, you sit up and take charge as everyone expects you to. I'm here with you every step of the way." she put her hand down and squeezed his thigh.

Finchley gave a weak smile, and with the reassuring touch of Shon's hand on his thigh, he turned to face everyone. He didn't feel comfortable having to say what he was about to sitting down, so he stood up and addressed them all.

"Before we begin this mission, I have something I have to tell you all" he began, "you're not going to like it, in fact, when you hear it, some of you wish to walk away from all of this and I won't blame you or plead with you to stay, you have to make your own mind up. Many years ago when I was brought into SFI, I was assigned to a covert mission, the details of it don't matter, but it all went sideways and myself and number of the team were captured by the Tal Shiar. They tortured us for weeks, trying to get Intel from us about SFI and our recent missions. Eventually, thinking they'd broken me, the Tal Shiar thought they'd turned me and set up mock crash site on the planet where myself and my team were captured by them. They set me up in a crashed ship they'd captured and made it look like I'd been there for some time living off the land. They'd even left a couple of my dead colleagues, whom they'd killed through their torture techniques, with me to let the rescuers think my story was true. I was to say that I'd managed to survive using my training and that I'd finally managed to fix the SOS beacon and that's how I was found by a SFIHQ recovery team . I was taken in for a debrief and told those taking it what had really happened, about the torture of myself and my colleagues, how the Tal Shiar wanted me to spy for them. It took my months to convince them that I wasn't a turncoat, but they used what had happened to me to their advantage. I fed false data to the Tal Shiar, telling them what what SFIHQ wanted me to tell them. Oh, some of it was true, some people were sacrificed to keep the illusion going, to satisfy the Tal Shiar that my Intel was good...I have their blood on my hands, but I had to keep it going. Meantime I also had to lead SFI's Purple Squad and not let it affect my work with you, which it never did. The Tal Shiar had a failsafe to stop any operative giving to much away if they were ever compromised, and I have that object inside me next to my kidney, a digestion inhibitor, it's a kind of walking dead death. I made the Tal Shiar believe I was a double agent, as I said, I told those from SFIHQ in my debrief all about what happened."

He began walking around, "It took some convincing the top brass I was legitimately ok and still an SFIHQ asset, and eventually they believed me. However, the Tal Shiar must have gotten information about our last mission somehow and so worked out a plan to get Finnigan's cargo onboard 'and' have a failsafe in case we foiled their plan. The failsafe was getting two Tal Shiar agents onboard, disguised as human, and have one of them activate the digestion inhibitor so that I would either die during the mission or die after if I returned. They couldn't afford me to be around anymore. That's why, I don't know if any of you noticed, I didn't eat much if anything on our last mission. I don't expect any sympathy from any of you, you may only see me as a traitor because you think I helped the Tal Shiar, but I'm not, I'm a victim of their cruelty and torture...and I'm a dead man walking. The only way I can be saved is for those of you who wish to remain help me find the Romulan doctor who put this digestion inhibitor inside me because only they know the code to shut it down. The mission plan is to find that doctor and make them shut it down for good. So, that's the truth of it, I've told you all and now it's up to you to decide what it is you want to do."

He sat down, utterly exhausted through nervous tension.

Shon stood, "questions, comments....it took a lot for the Commodore to tell us all this. I am sure we have all been in situations that are not black and. white, hell we work in the grey areas most of the time we are with SFIH. I have already confirmed what the Commodore has told us pertaining to the digestion inhibitor. He is dying and I WILL NOT let that happen. If you do not want to stay we will not think any less of you but go now if you want to." Shon sat down daring anybody to leave."

Milani spoke. "I cannot attest to the truth of any of this but my loyalty is to my Commanding Officer," she turned to Finchley. "Sir" she nodded and sat down as Shon gave her a grateful look.

"No, you can't attest to any of this Commander because you weren't there, you didn't go through what I did, what I witnessed, what I endured, what the others who were captured with me endured...and some died for" Finchley replied, "but thank you for your loyalty, it means a lot."

Kilbane stood up, looking lost, and angry. He turned to Shon, "You know more about this than the rest of us, and whilst I can see your point of view Doctor, how do we know that this thing is actually killing him? How do we know it's not just a ploy to get this crew delivered into Romulan hands so we can be tortured for information? What proof can you give that he's not lying?"

"Well first off have you not wondered why he looks so unwell, why he has lost so much weight?" she turned to Finchley, "If the Commodore agrees I can show you the results of the scans of the object. They cannot lie. I am also unable to perform surgery to remove it either. I am sorry Kilbane but you need....you ALL need to look inside yourselves. How many times he saved your lives, put his own on the line for yours. We all have something dark in our pasts, something we do not want to explore but we have to get past it, to move on. Trust him now as you have done before and remember I am also your physician as well, anything you tell me is also in the strictest confidence.....I...I'm sorry I need to sit down, I am not quite recovered from our last mission." Shon sat down her face white. She injected herself with analgesia and a vitamin compound. "Please everyone do not give up on everything this crew has together."

Karadis stood up next and looked Finchley square in the eye from across the table, "If you swear to me on your life that you never betrayed your comrades or SFI, then tit's an end to the matter for me, I will trust your word. It's true what Shon just said, we 'all' have something dark in our past that we shudder to bring into the light. It's also true that you've saved my life more times than I care to say, as I have yours, swear what I just asked you and there will be no more said about this!"

Finchley then stood up and looked back at Karadis, "I swear that I never betrayed my comrades Karadis, nor SFI, I did what had to be done to save both."

Karadis continued to look long and hard at him, then slowly nodded her head, "Then we will say no more about this."

Kilbane was still taking in what had been said, and as much as Finchley had explained it, and Shon had backed up with information about the inhibitor, he wasn't convinced. "Yes, you've saved my life multiple times, and like Karadis said I have yours, but this...this is something entirely different. You allowed others to die, SFI operatives, just to falsify the fact that you were supposedly still acting for the Tal Shiar as their agent. That's unforgivable, that is betrayal, more than that, it's cowardly, you did it to save your own skin!"

Finchley turned to look at him, "On the face of it, that's what you're supposed to think, what you don't know was that those SFI 'operatives' who died were a rogue group. They'd stopped taking commands from HQ and began acting on their own, they had basically become mercenaries, hired help to the highest bidder. If you don't believe me, contact SFIHQ and ask for the file on 'Operation Hawk', you're a Captain now, you can get such information. If you still don't believe me, contact Admiral Grady, he was the Section Chief at the time and he'll confirm it."

Kilbane stared hollowly back at Finchley, but said nothing more, sitting down again.

Finnigan was next to speak, "I've known you a long time Bird, if you say that what you've just us is the truth, I believe you."

Finchley nodded his thanks, and as he sat down, he took Shon's hand and said, "Why don't you go back to our quarters and rest, we'll finish up here and I'll come and see you in a little while."

Shon nodded, "If I can be of no further help here I would be good to do so. "

Milani stood, "Would you like me to take you back doctor?"

She smiled wanly. "No i will be fine, I just need to rest for a little while longer, but thank you Commander." she looked around at the faces sitting at the table looking for tells. then she shrugged and left. Half way to their quarters she stood for a moment before carrying on. It was true what she said about everyone in the group having their own darkness. Truth be told she could hardly remember her own, but it was there SFIHQ medical had told her about it, the virus that was inside her, warning her that one day it would reappear. Shon had shrugged it off but now, with everything she had gone through during the last mission it seemed it was, once again rearing it's ugly head. She pressed on back to their quarters and sat on the couch with Vulcan fire leaf tea. "I will just get through this mission and then, maybe I will tell my own dark secret." she said out loud before falling asleep slumped over the tea.

Finchley looked at Milani after Shon had left the room, "Commander Milani, might I remind you that you don't just up and leave whilst a briefing is still in session, you're the Executive Officer, your place is here. 'If' you do wish to leave, you ask my permission to do so and I'll grant or decline it. I realise you're concerned about the Doctor's health and were trying to be helpful, however, you will still follow ships protocol while I draw breath, is that clear?"

"Yes Commodore, I forgot momentarily." Milani said.

"That's not for much longer if your story's to be believed" Kilbane said under his breath.

Finchley however did hear it, "So you think I'm spinning some elaborate yarn to save my skin Captain Kilbane?"

Kilbane just snorted derisively.

"Tell me Captain, how do you think you became a member of this crew, of this squad...this SFI 'kill' squad?" Finchley asked him.

"I was assigned here" Kilbane answered.

"Were you told why that was?" Finchley then asked.

"No, I was told not to ask, so I didn't, I just followed my orders" Kilbane replied.

"Ah yes, the 'I just followed orders' answer, one as old as the history books" Finchley said, "shall I enlighten you?"

Kilbane now became a little bit uncomfortable, squirming in his seat a little, "If you must, be my guest."

"You came here because you too have a dark past" Finchley answered, "you were part of the Hamilton hit squad, you took out
the Klingon Ambassador to Signus Minor because he was doing a deal with the Cardassian's to run guns through that system."

"I've never been to Signus Minor, I would remember a name like that" Kilbane replied.

"Your memory was altered after the hit, SFI took care of that because they didn't want the fragile pact between the Klingon Empire and the Federation to be broken during the Dominion war. SFI took care to see to it that all of the Hamilton hit squad had their memories altered so none of you remembered it. The Doctor was right, we ALL have dark pasts, and that's yours. I took you on here because SFI knew our missions would take you far away from any Klingon interaction."

Kilbane stared at him, blinking a few times before he shouted, "That's a lie!"

"Computer, access SFIHQ file for the death of Klingon Ambassador T'LeC on Signus Minor during the Dominion war, access code Kerr Alpha two one two one Bravo X-ray nine. Relay the name's of the Hamilton squad that killed the Ambassador and who fired the fatal shot" Finchley said.

==^==Hamilton squad consisted of Captain Hamilton, Lieutenant Commander Bane's, Lieutenant Commander Drex and Lieutenant Kilbane. The report filed name's Lieutenant Kilbane as the squad member who fired the fatal shot==^==

Finchley looked at Kilbane, "Everyone here all has a dark past Captain Kilbane, if I were you, I wouldn't be to quick to judge me on mine."

He looked around the table, "Anyone else care to be judgemental about me, if you are then I'm happy to share much much more with you about all of your past indiscretions?"

Milani stood, "Commodore may i have a private word with you?"

"Once this briefing's finished Commander, sit down" Finchley ordered.

He looked around the table again, "I realise that all of this is a lot to take in, and believe me, I wrestled long and hard about telling you all, but I believed it to be the right thing to do" Finchley said. "Now, you all had the chance to walk out of here once you heard what I had to say, and none of you did, so I'm grateful for that. However, it still remains that the mission is two fold. One, we need to find the Romulan doctor who put this blasted thing in me and get her to deactivate it, two, find out who it was that could get two altered Romulan agents onto the Thall to be able to activate it in the first place, SFI has a mole or an actual Romulan agent in it's midst. Right, we have preparations to do, dismissed.

He watched as Kilbane, Karadis and Finnigan left the briefing room. Turning to Milani he said, "What did you want to say to me Commander?"

"Permission to speak freely Sir" Milani asked standing to attention

"Go ahead Commander" Finchley answered.

"Commodore do you think it wise to let everyone's dark secrets be known is the right thing to do?"

"Do you know who said 'Trust is built on telling the truth, not telling people what they want to hear' Commander?" Finchley asked.

"No Commodore I do not know that story." Milani said.

"A man named Simon Sinek" Finchley replied, "I need you all to trust me, so by telling you all about what's happened, I'm hoping you do that. Oh sure, I could have told some cock and bull story to you all about wanting to after this Romulan doctor because they were a monster and had committed atrocities across multiple sectors, but I didn't, I told you the truth. I know secrets about everyone on this ship, including you Milani, but I want to be able to trust you for being you and you having respect for me and the decisions I make and the orders I give, and that trust goes both ways. I opened myself up, hoping that by doing so you'd all trust me that I'm genuine at us all wanting to be truthful with one another."

"I do Commodore you have never shown me wrong yet but telling one's dark secrets in front of the crew can cause dissension and a lack of trust. Already by mentioning that i have a 'dark secret' I feel like i have become a hostage to you in some way. Permission to leave Sir?"

"Even hostages have hope Commander, don't make me take that hope away from you" Finchley replied, "I'm a better friend than I am an enemy, dismissed."

Milani turned and left, this was not the man she knew, the man who would protect his crew, who would freely accept their loyalty without having it forced on them. there in lay the threat of mutiny and, however she felt she would never allow it on this ship. she stalked down the corridor and instead of heading to the bridge she found herself at Shon and Finchley's quarters. she pressed the chime not really knowing what she would say.

"Come in," Shon's voice said. Milani entered.

"Oh yes goodness come in Mil, would you like some spiced tea, or perhaps something stronger. "

"A couple of fingers of Scotch please Shon," she said. Truth be told she had been very unnerved by the meeting and she was trembling.

Shon looked a little askance at her request but handed her the drink. "Please, sit down Mil, what is troubling you?"

Milani down the drink and came straight to the point. "Shon, I have been very disturbed by what I heard in the briefing. I ask you as a friend of you both and also the First Officer of this ship. Do you think the Commodore is fit enough to retain Command currently?"

Shon was shocked, "Mil why would you ask me such a thing?"

Milani told her what had occurred during the briefing and waited.

Shon stood up and paced around. "nothing has entered my mind that he is not fit to retain Command. He is going through a lot physically, even during our last mission Mil but he brought us through that. He has suppressed many memories over they years, memories that have come flooding back. He is getting through the best he can so allow him some leeway..As you know his physical condition is not the best" she hesitated, "You know i will inform him of this conversation don't you Milani?"

Milani nodded, "Yes of course, i would not have it any other way. Just...take care Shon."

"I always do Milani," she said as the First Officer left. "I always do."

Finchley had sat back in his seat after Milani had left, it had been a tough briefing, tougher than even he had expected, however, the truth was now out there for the Senior staff to know about and he was actually glad. All he wanted to do now was go back to his quarters and be with Shon, make sure she was alright and was resting up. Leaving the room, he was soon walking down the corridor towards their quarters when he heard the doors slide open and saw Milani walking out and heading away from him in the opposite direction.

Walking into their quarters he saw Shon standing there, "What did Milani want?" he asked Shon.

"Finchley, sit down, you obviously saw her leaving." Shon sat back relaxing. "She wanted to know if I thought you were fit enough mentally and physically to Command after the briefing. Obviously something you said unnerved her. I told her that of course you were suffering physically due to the object inside you. Mentally I told her you were going through a lot but I felt you were eminently able to remain in command."

Finchley couldn't sit down, his anger at Milani questioning his ability to command now evident.

"Et tu Milani...et tu..." he said quietly as he looked at the doors to their quarters. He looked round at Shon and said, "Thank you for your vote of confidence Shon, that means a lot to me. However, to quote Abraham Lincoln 'a house divided against itself cannot stand', so I will be keeping an eye on the Commander from now on. In fact, since baring my soul to them all....something I now bitterly regret doing...I will be keeping a close eye on all of the Senior staff. We can't afford to have any of them second guess me in my ability to command this ship and get us through this mission. If that does happen, then it's a death sentence for me, unless of course that's what they want. I'm starting to see a power struggle playing out now, one that could tear this crew apart and I won't allow that to happen."

Shon sighed, "I know I cannot tell you what to think, how to act but I do have some Betazoid sensibilities, Milani has no ulterior motive, she believes you to be the best Commanding Officer she has served with, I just think Milani was doing her job. How many times in the past has a First Officer, however loyal made a decision to question his or her Commanding Officer's ability or medical fitness? Since coming on board she has acted in the finest way and been loyal and supportive to you. This was a question she asked the Chief Medical Officer and I gave her my answer." Shon touched his arm, "Finchley I think you are seeing ghosts where there are none."

Finchley pulled away, looking at Shon as he spoke, "I never once questioned the ability or medical fitness of any Commanding Officer I served under as a First Officer, not once!, and do you know why Shon? Because to do that undermined their ability to lead, to think, to act...and most of...to determine the next move. A Commanding Officer is meant to be the one that everyone else looks up to, trusts in, believes in, and the duty of a First Officer is to make that just so, not go behind the CO's back and question their competency!"

He moved towards the doors, "This won't do, I need a First Officer who unquestioningly believes in me and all that I do, and if Milani isn't up to that task, then she'll be replaced by someone who will. I cannot, I will not, have someone sowing seeds of dissent amongst the crew, so she either gets onboard or gets out of the way. I've been to soft of late, I've allowed myself to see this crew as 'friends' and not as it should be, people who serve under me to carry out the orders of SFIHQ. That stops now, we will return to how it was before and we will have order."

Shon looked at him in wonder, "Milani is NOT as you say, sowing seeds of discontent. "If truth be told I am worried about you. If we had a counsellor I would ask you see them but I want you to come down to sickbay with me now, I need to run some scans on you. This is not a request, it's an order from your Chief Medical Officer Finchley."

"I see, so you must now be having doubts about me" Finchley replied, "Very well, Doctor, if we're going to conduct things that way, go down the official route, then you'll refer to me as Sir or Commodore."

"I am firstly doing this because I love you and I am worried about you with this 'thing' inside you but, if you insist then yes Commodore." Shon stood briefly complaining about her abdominal pain. "Come on, I have a bad idea about this."

Finchley, though now getting very annoyed about what was happening, tapped his COMM badge, "Computer, site to site transport, two to beam from this location, energise."

The transporter beam enveloped them both and a moment later they were both in Sickbay. "Very well Doctor, we're now here, get on with your...whatever it is you're wanting to do to me" Finchley said.

Shon nodded, "please Commodore lie down here," she indicated a private biobed. "the first scan I am going to perform is on that 'thing' inside. I need you to swallow this small capsule. It is a new medical method from headquarters. This will give me constant real time information on what, if anything it is doing, if it moves, if it emits anything then I will know immediately. Oh...now here is a thing Finch....I mean Commodore. It is showing protons and heavy ions around the site, are you feeling nauseated, headaches, exhaustion?"

"No, just irritation, a feeling of betrayal and...oh yes...that this a waste of time because I feel no different now than when you first scanned this damn thing that's inside me!" Finchley replied.

"Well you will now," Shon exclaimed, " this 'damn thing' is leaking radiation into your system, also your brain stem." She took a hypo from a stand and dialled something up, injecting it into his neck. "this is an anti radiation shot, it will keep the radiation at bay until we can figure on getting that damn thing out of you. "you are also showing high levels of stress hormones which are reaching your spleen. Here, " she pressed another shot into his neck, "this is 21cc's of nitroprussor. It will help bring your blood pressure down. Now, if I asked you to lie down for a while I don't suppose you would?" she asked daring a smile?

Whatever it was that Shon had just put in his system, Finchley couldn't have cared less, as he was now floating on air. "Say, cutie pie, do you have that to go because I sure would like more, what say you and me just mosey on over to my place and we can...dance the light fantastic!", and he was up off the biobed waving jazz hands in the air and grinning like an idiot.

Shon had to smile, "come with me" she said as she asked for the site to site transport to take them back to their quarters. she led him into their bedroom and undressed him like a child. "now Commodore I suggest you get into bed." she tapped her comm, "Dex to Milani."

"Milani here is...everything all right?"

Shon nodded. "Everything is fine, the Commodore is lying down for a while can you stand another Bridge shift?"

"Of course, no problem, it's all quiet up here."

"Good, we will see you in the morning, thank you."

She turned to Finchley, "get into bed."

Finchley slid into bed, held back the sheets, winked and said "Why don't you just slide on in here with me honey and we can play 'syphon the python'..."and for extra emphasis he raised and lowered his eyebrows.

Shon had to hide a laugh. "The python will have to hide back in his case, this bed tonight is designated a sleep place." She shrugged off her uniform and, with the hypo near her slipped into bed beside him. "All I want you to do is sleep, I will give you another injection in the morning and I will contact my friend again in the morning." She pulled the covers over both of them so they were over their heads. "go to sleep my love, no dreams." she wrapped her arms round him and held him.

Finchley was about to protest when a wave of tiredness washed over him and he gave a yawn, "Perhaps a ten minute nap, you know, just to..." and he was out cold.

Shon looked as his face, even the last two minutes had shown the difference from the strain on his face to a smooth unlined one. "I love you," Shon whispered as she gently kissed his lips. "I will keep watch tonight Commodore." she said quietly as she lay awake, watching him in the darkness.

Some hours later Finchley awoke from his sleep, "I had the strangest dream last night Shon" he said, looking at her with a smile on his lips, "I seemed to be this really angry bear and I kept roaring at all these other animals who were sat around me in a big circle, one even chased me for a little while before one of the other animals yelped at it. I kept trying to get the other animals to be scared of me because I was this big bear and they were all smaller and seemed inferior, and they kind of unwillingly did as I growled to them, then they all sloped off. Then this other bear arrived and I began growling at that one, but the other bear just ignored me growling and began picking nits or something out of my fur, but it was soothing so I stopped growling and then let them carry on. Then I turned into this really odd sounding rodeo cowboy type of guy, and you were there. I kept making all these suggestive comments to you and you were laughing each time I did...and I woke up a moment ago. That really was a very odd set of dreams..."

Shon smiled happily, this was the Finchley she knew, but it wouldn't last but she knew she would make sure he got the chance to dream every night. "You know it's strange how much dreams can realise real life?" she walked to the replicator, "cocktail Shon one and a Vulcan fireball coffee." The replicator whirred and Shon took the drinks and brought them back to the bed. Handing him the drink she said, "I have had time to find out exactly what your body has been lacking for so long because of that thing. I have disguised all the vitamins, minerals and carbohydrates you need so that that 'thing' inside you will not recognise them." she handed him the drink. "It comes in orange, black current, scotch, strawberry and plain water." She sat up nestling into the deep pillows behind her. "Drink up my love and tell me what we have to do today?" she sipped her coffee and waited.

"Well, you did say you were going to contact your Romulan friend again" Finchley said. He looked at Shon and, trying not to be to forthcoming with his questions asked, "My brains a little foggy from the past twenty four hours, how did you come to meet this...contact, and are they affiliated to the Tal Shiar?"

She nudged him gently, "drink up, I will contact Par Lat when we are a day out from Romulus, her husband was a small time operative and she hates the Tal Shiar. Remember I told you that when I left the ship I was in a dark place and was recruited by the agency. I learnt to be ...well you know our training. Altered to look like a Romulan. We became friends and I spent a lot of time with her.

One evening I was dining at her country lodge when her brute of a husband burst in. they had been estranged for a few years. He did not know i was there and he was obviously bent on killing her. He had strangled her into unconsciousness. When he saw me he attempted to rape me, of course he was no match for me and I killed him, quite slowly. After all I could not let him live after that" Shon smiled and sighed, " long story short I managed to have his body destroyed and laid a false trail that painted him a traitor. For a while we were lovers but I so never forgot you so I did my job, found the information I needed and left. Since then I saw her once at a trade seminar."

She left the bed and padded to the replicator, "do you want anything?" she asked.

Finchley winced in pain, and suddenly his demeanour changed, "Yes Commander, I want a straight answer to my questions!" he said, now standing up. "You just said that Par Lat's husband was a small time operative, for who, and what was his role? The fact that he strangled his wife to unconsciousness, then when he saw you he tried to rape you, you killed him...slowly, you weren't afraid of any backlash? Then there's the fact you admitted to, you became her lover, did she turn you knowing exactly who you actually were and now you're working for the Romulan's against SFI?"

Shon shrugged, "Berech Lat was the under secretary to the Senators personal assistant, it was his job to pass on anything he thought would have been of interest to the Tal Shiar." Shon laughed. "Over the following three months I traced back the few reports he had sent. The man was ridiculous, full of his own importance he managed to tell them exactly nothing of any importance at all. I found out that they were about to in fact liquidate him as he had a big mouth also and a liking for rathalal which also opened his mouth."

She looked at him through shrewd eyes. "That is why I was never afraid of any backlash. The word was they were glad he was dead, it saved them the trouble and the chance his death might get back to them. Finchely I am no longer the wide eyed occasionally naïve girl I used to be. My training changed me and the missions I have had in the interim have seasoned me. I used our relationship to gain several secrets from the Senator which I passed on to the SFI. She was beautiful yes but I used her, the Federation often survives on the information we gain, the universe is not as we would wish it." She sighed. "I will do anything to preserve the Federation, even give my life so never accuse me of being a double agent!" she turned away from him, "now will you let me give you your injection?"

"You think the agency recruited you???" Finchley laughed sarcastically, "It was me...ME...who put them up to it, to recruit you" he added. "Even though we parted on difficult terms, I knew you were still an asset that SFI could use, so I put you in their cross hairs, I manufactured your training regime. Do you think me stupid Commander, do you think I wouldn't keep tabs on you after you were recruited and trained. I'm Finchley Kerr, I'm a level nine SFI agent, Purple Squad leader and savant of all things deadly. I could have snapped my fingers and your neck would have been snapped like a twig and I wouldn't have lost sleep, in fact, I would have been handed a glass of champagne and toasted because those in charge would have known I made the right decision. I'm never questioned on what I do because I'm one of the few who can stomach having to do what needs to be done. You are still the wide eyed naïve girl you used to be because I was the one who chose your assignments for you, I pulled the strings and you danced to my tune. So if I accuse you of being a double agent, there's jack shit you can do about it, all I have to do is make one call and you're up shit creek without a paddle, I would advise you to take a lesser tone with me. Now, the injection's are no longer required, you're no longer my physician, in fact, your no longer physician to anyone on this ship, any of the crew, you're merely here for the ride and to get Par Lat to meet you, I'll do the rest, have you got that...Commander?"

Shon looked at him calmly, "this is why you will need these injections, if I am no longer your physician one of the others will administer your injections. You cannot frighten me away, you can push me away but, oh no i will not go gentle into the night. I love you and I know you love me. Whatever you do, or say to me is the product of your mind affected by your illness." She turned, "I will be in my old quarters should you want me. I will inform one of the other doctor of your regime. Finchley Kerr you are not invincible."

Shon made the best she could of exiting their quarters making sure he could not see the tears running down her cheeks. Her old quarters were cold and lifeless as she laid down on the bed her mind turning over everything he said. she knew she could rage, throw things act the savage she wanted to be but she knew none of it made any sense without him. Yes, she was very hurt by what he had said but she would bide her time, watch over him from afar if that was how he wanted it. Sighing she dusted off her Te'At meditation bowl, lit the herbs and sat crossed legged on the floor and began to meditate.

Finchley watched her go, and as she left he called out, "Like I said Commander, I'm Finchley Kerr, I am invincible, nobody can touch me...nobody!"

When the doors shut, he looked around the room, and to no-one there he carried on "My enemies tremble with fear, those who oppose me I grind into the dust, and those who betray me...I kill..."

With that he left the room and was soon on the bridge. He strode towards the Command chair and seeing Milani he said, "Stand down Commander, you're confined to quarters till further notice."

He looked round at Karadis and said, "Take her to her quarters Commander, and if she gives you trouble, feel free to exercise restraint in any way you see fit."

Milani stood, "I don't know what is going on Commodore but I am sure you will inform me when you wish to do so." She looked at Karadis. "I will not give you any trouble," she turned and looked at Finchley, "Am I allowed out of my quarters?" she asked.

"Which part of confined to quarters escapes you Commander?" Finchley asked, "however, I'm magnanimous, I'll allow you have visitors...and Karadis will be present if you do, just so there's no...funny business if you know what I mean."

"Well, you know where I will be if you need me Sir," Milani said. "shall we go Karadis?" she asked.

"Doctor Mora to Commodore Kerr." the staccato of the comm invaded the bridge which had fallen silent.

"Please come to sickbay for your treatment sir."

"I'm busy Doctor, if you need to treat me, you can come to the bridge, Kerr out" Finchley replied, then closed the link.

Kilbane walked across to Finchley's chair and leaned in close to his ear, "What the fuck are you doing Bird, why are you confining Milani to her quarters and why are you being such a prick about going to Sickbay to get your injection? Your the one who goes to great pains to see that everyone is fit and well and able to carry out their duties, now you've basically ignored a Doctors order!"

"Be very careful what you say Captain, it could be misconstrued as being mutinous" Finchley replied, slowly looking round at Kilbane, "Go back to your station and carry on."

Kilbane glared at him, this wasn't the Commanding Officer her recognised. Sure, he looked like Finchley Kerr and sounded like him, but his actions weren't his, they were of...he didn't actually know...possibly a tyrant?"

Finnigan piped up at that point, "Permission to leave the bridge Sir, I have duties elsewhere that require my attention."

Finchley watched Kilbane storm back to his seat, then he looked at at Finnigan, "Permission granted, just don't take to long Mr Finnigan."

Finnigan nodded and was soon in the turbolift heading to the deck where the Senior Officers quarters were. Exiting the 'lift, he saw Milani and Karadis up ahead.

"Wait up!" he called to them, then caught up. "What the hells gotten into the CO, he's acting odd, I've never ever seen him like that?"

"Milani turned, "The Commodore is obviously ill, we know this and Shon is supposed to be treating him, why does Doctor Mora call and not Shon? I need to talk to her? but my guard here," she turned to look at Karadis, "well i am sure she will not let me."

Just then Doctor Mora rounded the corner, "I take it the Commodore is still on the bridge?" he said in his acerbic way, hypo in his hand. "and what has happened to our CMO, we thought she was treating him. I am very confused." he said as he wandered off down the corridor.